An Interesting Afternoon With Archer and Toad
by Coffee Monsta
Summary: This is my first Archer/Toad slash oneshot! It's cute and fluffy! There's some humor in here too, but it IS rated M for a reason! Again, this is slash! Don't like, don't read. Also, there is some... colorful language, but not much. Enjoy!


**A/N: Hehehe... I'm sorry, but for some reason I was REALLY in the mood for Archer/Toad smut, which is weird because I haven't even written any before.**

 ***shrug***

 **Have fu- OH, wait a minute!**

 **The picture for this story, as I'm sure you've noticed, is an angel wings tattoo. Archer has it. Because for some odd reason, I feel that it suits him quite well. Anyone else feel the same or am I just a weirdo...?**

 **In case you were wondering, no, there is not just one wing. There's 2 of them... and I spent like 30 minutes trying to get both of them to fit, but the image manager for this site decided to be a turd. I'm sorry, but I** ** _did_** **try!**

 **WARNING: Just in case you missed where I mentioned this above- this is smut. In this case, it'** **s two dudes having sex. I just wanted everyone to be clear on that before you scream at me in a review for not warning you. Because now I have. ;)**

 **P.S... in my opinion... Archer looks similar to Freddie Smith. If you're having trouble visualizing him, then go look up Freddie Smith! Unless of course, you want to create your own personal Archer using your imagination. I'm fine with that too. He's really cute tho... just sayin...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Toad went from room to room, searching for his boyfriend. Archer had said he was going to the infirmary to check on Roach, who, ironically, had a stomach bug. But he never returned and it had been almost half an hour.

He was going to check the infirmary first, but then he had decided to search all areas from closest to farthest, and the infirmary happened to be the farthest.

He had finished looking everywhere else and was heading there now. He was really hoping that Archer hadn't caught Roach's bug... it was bad. Like _really_ bad.

He sprinted through the halls until he reached the infirmary, reaching it fairly quickly. The sight he was met with damn near melted his heart into a pile of goop.

Archer was asleep in a hospital bed a few beds down from were Roach was. The youngest member of the team was also asleep. Ghost was laying with him and seemed to be asleep as well, although the pair didn't look as peaceful as Archer did.

One of his legs was hanging off the edge of the bed and his right arm was slung over his eyes. His perfectly shaped pink lips were parted slightly to emit soft, nearly inaudible snores.

Toad wasn't very surprised that the medic had fallen asleep. He had been working so hard lately, staying up all night with Roach, taking care of him.

He knew he was exhausted and, to be honest, had kind of expected him to pass out somewhere eventually. Although he had thought it would be in his lap, not in one of the hospital beds.

He grinned and silently approached the bed, not wanting to wake any of them up. He carefully slid his right arm under Archer's legs, the other supporting his back, and picked him up.

The poor thing cried out in alarm and almost jumped right out of his arms. Toad just barely managed to hold onto him.

"Woah, easy! It's just me!" He said, adjusting his hold on him to avoid dropping him on his head.

He stopped struggling and peered up at him with tired eyes, as if to confirm that it was, in fact, him. Ghost sat up on his elbows and grumbled incoherently at them for waking him up, then laid back down next to Roach, whom hadn't stirred the whole time.

Toad chuckled and shook his head. He had no idea what Ghost had said, but he was sure it wasn't anything good. He left the infirmary and brought his boyfriend, who had already fallen asleep again, to their room.

He had a bit of trouble opening the door with Archer- who was about 145 pounds of deadweight- in his arms, but after a couple minutes he managed to get it open.

He sighed in relief and gently set him down on their bed... or rather, he _tried_ to. Archer threw his arms around his neck at the last second, yanking him down onto the bed with him.

It scared the shit out of him, because he had thought he was asleep. He fell to the bed with a most _unmanly_ yelp and looked at the younger man with huge, shocked eyes.

Archer was laying there, giggling uncontrollably. He sounded adorable and Toad couldn't help but laugh along with him.

"Oh my god, Arch! You almost gave me a heart attack!" He whined, playfully punching him in the arm.

The younger man was laughing too hard to properly form a reply. After nearly five minutes, they both managed to stop laughing.

They laid there silently for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence. Toad's eyes slid down to his lips and they both moved forward and met halfway in a kiss.

Toad smiled into the kiss when he felt him nibble on his lower lip, obviously asking for entrance. He gladly gave it, moaning slightly when Archer threaded his fingers through his hair and gave it a playful tug.

The younger man grinned and pushed him onto his back, straddling his hips and tilting his head back to deepen the kiss. Damn... dominant Archer was really turning him on.

He felt his pants grow uncomfortably tight when said boyfriend ground his hips down against his. He couldn't hold back the moan of pleasure the action forced from his throat.

After a few moments, he- with great difficulty- pulled away and panted out, "Are you sure... you're up for this? You're exhausted and you need sleep... before you pass out."

Archer pouted and replied, "Do you not want to...?"

He laughed slightly and said, "Of course I do, baby. I just don't want you to pass out halfway through from exhaustion. I think I'd have a heart attack if you did."

Archer laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes.

"Oh my god... Is that even possible?!"

"I dunno... but I don't want to find out..." He chuckled, placing a hand on Archer's lower back and carefully switching their positions so he was on top.

He leaned down to capture his lips in another heated kiss, causing the sniper to groan and buck his hips up in need of friction. Toad practically ripped his shirt off, breaking the kiss to give his neck some attention.

He trailed soft kisses down his jaw line, going lower until he reached the base of his neck. He nipped at his collar bones, then sucked on a few places, leaving marks that he knew Archer would complain about in the morning.

Archer groaned and pulled at the hem of his shirt, trying to get it off. After a few moments of watching him struggle, Toad rolled his eyes and removed it himself.

"It's not that hard, you know." He laughed, giving him a peck on the lips.

"Don't pick on me unless you want to sleep on the couch." He grumbled, pulling his pants off with shaking hands.

He was glad that he wasn't wearing a belt. If he had been, he never would have gotten them off. He threw them God only knows where and reached up to pull at Toad's pants.

"Off..." He panted.

Toad climbed off the bed and walked to the door. Archer sat up with an indignant whine, his eyes growing huge.

"You're just going to leave me here like this?! Wher-"

"Relax, I'm just locking the door." He laughed, doing so and walking over to his dresser.

Archer sighed in relief and laid back down. Toad pulled a container of lube from the drawer and tossed it to Archer, unbuckling his belt and pulling the rest of his clothes off before returning to bed.

He grinned when he saw the obvious bulge in his boxers.

"Well somebody's hard..." He teased, reaching down and giving him a few strokes through the fabric.

Archer tried to reply, but a strangled moan came out instead. He rutted his hips up and whimpered, wanting more.

Toad used one hand to play with his sensitive nipples, while the other continued stroking his clothed dick.

He watched his boyfriend's face as he sped up his strokes, his own erection growing at the sight of Archer. His eyes were shut tight, his face contorted in pleasure as he whimpered and writhed. His boxers were damp with precum.

After a few minutes, Toad decided he'd teased him enough and he pulled his boxers off, leaving them both naked. He smirked and leaned down, taking Archer's throbbing erection into his mouth and sucking lightly on the tip.

He moaned loudly, arching his back and bucking his hips against the hands that kept them in place. Toad hummed, the vibrations nearly making the younger man scream with pleasure.

"Mmmhhmmm... O-ooh _fuck_...!" He cried, his fingers clutching the bed sheets in a white knuckled grip.

Toad took him deeper in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the slit and sucking harder. Archer released a loud, needy moan and tangled his fingers in his hair, holding him there.

After a couple more minutes, Toad, whom was no longer able to ignore his own erection, pulled back and grabbed the lube.

He grabbed a few pillows and said, "Here, love, roll onto your stomach so this'll be a bit easier."

Archer pouted and said, "I don't wanna..."

He laughed slightly, momentarily setting the container of lube aside and moving up so they were face to face.

"And why not?"

"...Because I want to look at your sexy face while you fuck me into this mattress." He growled, leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss.

 _Oh... well damn._

Toad really hadn't been expecting that response, but it was _hot._ He groaned when Archer slid his tongue into his mouth, battling with his for dominance.

He explored among the perfect rows of teeth, gasping in surprise and pleasure when a warm hand took hold of his erection, giving it strong, languid strokes that soon had him moaning like a whore.

He broke the kiss after a moment because he couldn't concentrate enough to continue. Archer thumbed his slit, sitting up a bit and licking at his nipples as well.

It felt so fucking _good,_ but he needed to get Archer prepped if they were ever gonna do this... After a few minutes, he managed to get enough control over himself to pull Archer's hand away.

"I-I should've... started prepping you like yesterday. You're so fucking... distracting." He grumbled.

Archer hummed in reply, watching through half lidded eyes as he coated a finger with lube. He spread his legs wider, allowing Toad to sit between them.

He pushed one finger in, slowly moving it in and out. He watched Archer's face the whole time to make sure he didn't hurt him. The young sniper instinctively tensed at the intrusion, squirming slightly in discomfort.

"Shhh, just relax, you're fine." Toad murmured, peppering soft kisses along his thigh to help him relax.

It helped a bit and soon he was able to add a second finger without any trouble. He scissored and curled them inside him, silently hoping he was being thorough enough that he wouldn't hurt Archer when he went in...

After a few minutes, he added a third and picked up the pace a bit. He was glad that Archer seemed to be adjusting okay...

Said person groaned and mumbled out, "I'll b-be fine... get on with it."

"You sure?" Toad grinned, mischievously wiggling his fingers around inside him and making him arch off the bed with a loud moan.

His attempted reply was lost in a groan as the older man pulled his fingers out with a slight _pop._ He rubbed more lube onto his dick before carefully getting in position between Archer's legs.

"Are y-you ready?"

He looked at him uncertainly, wanting to make sure it was okay to proceed before doing so. He had learned to do that after being with Archer for almost a year, and it had become a habit.

"If you don't m-move, I'm... going to fucking strangle you." Archer growled, wrapping his legs around Toad's waist and pulling him toward himself.

 _Well then._

Archer whined as he slowly pushed in. It was a bit uncomfortable at first... Well, more than a _bit_ because Toad certainly wasn't small, but he slowly got used to it.

When Toad was all the way in, he stayed still for a few minutes, patiently allowing Archer to adjust. While he waited, he planted gentle kisses along the scars that decorated his chest and stomach, occasionally reminding Archer to breathe.

He stopped when Archer timidly mumbled, "M-move..."

He smirked down at him and said, "Awww, Arch, you're blushing. Why are you only embarrassed _now-_ after moaning like a whore for the past twenty minutes?"

He glared defiantly up at him and went to reply, but only a strangled moan came out. Just as he had opened his mouth to reply, Toad had pulled almost completely out, then snapped his hips forward, sending a wave of pleasure and pain through him.

He set a quick pace, thrusting into the tight, wet heat that surrounded him.

" _F-fuck_ , Arch, you feel so good..." He moaned out, roughly kissing the man under him as he took his erection in his hand and gave it a few firm strokes.

Needy whimpers and moans flew from Archer's lips as he bucked into Toad's hand, digging his nails into his back and leaving claw marks all over it as pleasure pulsed through him.

"Nnnggh... Shit... MmmmMMMm, T-Toad... fuck me...!" He moaned loudly.

Toad was sure everyone on base had heard that, but he really didn't care at the moment. His thrusts sped up, but they began to get sloppy as he neared his peak. He could tell Archer was close too, as his moans were growing more and more incoherent by the second.

"Cum for me, baby..." He purred, licking and biting at Archer's neck.

With a final, loud moan of Toad's name, he came into his lover's hand. Toad couldn't hold back any longer when he felt Archer's already suffocatingly tight hole clench around him. He came deep inside him, painting his insides white as he thrusted in and out a few more times.

He pulled out of him and collapsed onto the bed beside Archer, trying to catch his breath. After a few minutes- in other words, when he felt less dead- he rolled over and snaked an arm around Archer's waist, pulling him closer and positioning him so he was basically spooning him.

He smiled and kissed at his neck, sitting up a bit to look at him.

"Did I do okay?" He asked curiously.

Archer laughed and replied, "Yup..." He yawned and Toad's heart almost exploded. "You fucked the energy right out of me... Ugh..."

"You didn't have any energy to begin with, pumpkin." He laughed, kissing him on the cheek.

Archer giggled and Toad laid back down, idly tracing the wings that decorated the younger man's back. Goosebumps appeared quickly, seemingly following along behind his fingers, and Archer shivered.

"Cut it ooout..." He mumbled through another yawn.

He sounded like he was already half asleep. Toad chuckled and stopped, instead planting kisses along the edges of the beautiful wings, making Archer sigh in contentment.

He fell asleep shortly after, and as soon as Toad found the motivation to get up, he went to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth. He soaked it in warm water and cleaned Archer and himself up.

As he walked into the bathroom again, he was suddenly aware of an odd stinging sensation that radiated throughout his back. He dropped the washcloth in the laundry basket and turned so his back was facing the mirror, then he looked at it.

Long, thin bloody lines covered the vast majority of his back and he gasped at the sight of them. There weren't that many, but they started at his shoulder blades and went all the way down to his lower back- nearly reaching his ass.

"Archer!" He screeched, "What the _hell_ did you do to my back?!"

He was surprised to hear a mumbled reply from the bed.

"Hey... my ass hurts because of you... So shut up and deal with it..."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, thinking, _Well, he's not wrong..._

One thing was for sure though- Archer would be clipping his nails before they had sex again.

* * *

 **A/N: Whoooo... that took a LOOONG time! I literally worked on this for about three months, trying to get the wording right and actually FINISH it!**

 **Anyways, please review and tell me what you thought! I love getting feedback! :D**


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